Tag Archives: Marie Kondo

Capture the Story, Release the Object

still life marlin

While we are working with people who are downsizing or just clearing space, we hear the stories about many of the objects that they might be parting with. We’re always looking for ways to help our clients to make room for their next chapters and/or to let go of excess stuff. It’s often the attachments to “stuff” that holds people back from making that move to a more desirable area, to downsize into a place that feels more cozy … or to just have people over.

We were introduced to Laura Turbow of Still Life Stories. She and her partner Rachel Friedman, photograph and capture the essence of special items. Grandpa’s chair, a prized-but-bulky trophy, that taxidermied swordfish that just doesn’t fit any more (did it ever?). In the process, they honor an individual and/or the story behind it.

One of the goals of Still Life Stories is to help people hold on to what matters and brings them joy and to let go of the rest. That happens to dovetail with our work as Professional Organizers. We help people discern what our clients will bring with them into their future. And to keep what brings them joy.

Downsizing does not have to mean the end of things. Converting the ‘thing’ into digital photos and story that can be shared and remembered, that can survive fires, floods and disasters…while giving you the space you need. The April 4th post on the Still Life Stories Facebook page shows the power of a story when the history behind an object is shared.

 

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under Decluttering, downsizing, Empty Nest, General Organizing, Guest Experts, Memorabilia, Perspective, Seniors, Strategies

Make Your Home a Priority

superhero

Be a SUPERHERO in your own home!

Do you feel like there’s never enough time to get things put away, straightened out, picked up, cleaned out?

Guess what? There isn’t!

Maintaining your living space must be given priority in your regular schedule. We depend on our homes for our daily living but often don’t recognize how important it is to make regular time to keep the contents maintained. When your roof has a hole, you fix it. When your plumbing backs up, you fix it. We immediately recognize the urgency of these situations and prioritize them.

How about applying the same sense of urgency to a dining room table always full of mail? Or a pile of returns waiting to get to the post office? Or cluttered kitchen counters taking up prep space? Recognizing the urgency of these situations that we often just acclimate to and tolerate requires a shift in perspective.

Think about the quality of life you’d gain by:

  • Being able to get dressed quickly in the morning
  • Having adequate supplies for school projects
  • Finding ingredients for dinner when you haven’t had time to shop
  • Finding sport equipment for the next game
  • Knowing exactly which bills are due and where they are

How To Do It

The first step to making this happen is to make some time for it. Too much stuff and too little time is a recipe for disaster. Maintaining an organized home takes sacrifices because time won’t magically appear in our schedules unless we make it a priority.

If weekday schedules are completely full with work and school you may have to sacrifice some optional activities on the weekend. In our busy lives we often don’t realize that many of our fun activities are actually optional – book clubs, kid sports, outings, travel. It can be a little painful, but creating a short-term plan to carve out enough time to get caught up on problem areas of the home will pay you back daily when life is simpler and easier.

And it doesn’t have to all be done at once; prioritize the areas that affect your daily living the most. It feels great to finish one area at a time instead of chipping away in multiple areas. The sooner you see and feel the results of your efforts, the more motivated you’ll be to keep going.

Be your own superhero – make time magically appear by scheduling organizing sessions in your calendar. If you don’t own it, no one else will! Remember, just as you would hire that roofer or plumber if you couldn’t fix it yourself, get professional help with your home if you can’t tackle it on your own.

Leave a comment

Filed under Decluttering, General Organizing, Perspective, Strategies

Overcoming Resistance-Getting Yourself To YES

Yes

We may want to get reclaim our dining room table or our linen closet from the throes of entropy.  But that isn’t usually enough to get ourselves to make it happen.

Resistance to our goals shows up in different ways for different people… boredom, sleepiness, getting distracted, anxiety, procrastination, avoidance.  So how do you get around your own resistance to meet your organizing goals?

I’m overwhelmed!

Being overwhelmed can stop us in our tracks.  We freeze because the project feels too big and scary.  There are some techniques to managing that overwhelm. Rather than tackling the whole project, take one small step. How about:

  • Working on just a corner of a dining room table or
  • Cherry-picking only the catalogs and magazines or
  • Moving the shredding bag and recycling bin next to the table
  • Removing only the mail that looks critical and leaving the rest for now or
  • Doing a rough sort and gathering only large categories of things: for example, paper, items made of cloth, dishes, other people’s things

I don’t have time for this! I’m too busy! There’s other important things to do!

It may be very true that you are busy and other things seem more important. But this project you are looking at must be costing you something or it wouldn’t be bothering you…mental distress, distraction.

  • What value will you gain by finishing this project?
  • How is this project you’re putting off affecting your daily life?
  • What is it costing you in time, money or distraction? …late fees, family arguments, inefficiency?
  • Get clear on why you’re doing it
  • Schedule a session and see how far you get.
  • If you’re waiting for this magical block of time to appear, unless you make an appointment with yourself, you’ll always feel too busy
  • Ask a friend to keep you company while you work on it or commit to someone else to make progress

I might need it! I paid a lot of money for it! Someone gave it to me!

We all have these objections.  Not valuing your current life as much as you value money you already spent and can’t fully recoup…or letting someone else’s generosity keep you from having your home the way you want it is debilitating.

  • Save that resistance for things that are truly hard to come by, not for things that are easy to borrow or replace, like novels and cheesecake pans.
  • Ask yourself “Is it really that precious to take up valuable space in my home and my life?
  • Is the value of having it on hand worth the everyday cost of keeping it, taking up space, requiring cleaning or care?
  • Don’t let the “maybe/somedays” stand in the way of living comfortably right now. How about that specialty appliance that you have been meaning to use…Is that bread maker/ice cream machine/panini press taking up valuable space on your counter or in your cabinets?
  • To keep from getting stuck, try dividing the items in question into three categories: “YES” – “NO” – “MAYBE” to maintain forward momentum while sorting

Sometimes our resistance isn’t literal or immediately obvious. Maybe you’re avoiding that pile of papers because you have a huge bill due…or clearing out a space means facing memories of someone who used to be in your life.

Hold that vision of the how great it will feel to have made progress on your organizing goal.  The cumulative effect of slight behavior changes can improve the course of your life.  Be kind to yourself, some resistance is pretty intense. If you truly get stuck, move onto something else or reach out for a helping hand.

Leave a comment

Filed under Decluttering, disorganization, Perspective, Strategies

Perspectives on Letting Go

freedom release letting go

Ahh, attachments to our stuff. It’s really all a mental game. If we were truly able to assess our belongings according to our practical needs, we would probably be living with 10% of what we own.

Why is letting go so hard? How do we manage the psychology of releasing things?

Over the years, we’ve seen people find success with one (or a combination) of these three approaches:

Focus on how you can help yourself

Honor the life you want to live. Have a vision of how you want to be in the world and edit your stuff so you can match that and live your best life now. This is about releasing the past and creating your ideal future. You’re honoring yourself by letting that be your focus.

Focus on how you can help other people

Recognize that your excess is a form of abundance. Release your objects so they can serve their purpose in other people’s lives. Release resentment or other negative emotions that the objects bring up in you and put them out into the world to do positive things for other people.

Feng Shui expert Karen Kingston tells a story of a divorced woman had a pair of large, expensive decorative urns from her divorce settlement. They were beautiful but made her think, with bitterness, of her ex-husband.  She was encouraged to sell them and get a lot of money for them instead of having them foster bitterness and resentment and a constant reminder of a painful relationship.

Focus on how you can help the environment

Bringing in less can aid the environment, but disposing of things in a thoughtful way will help offset the environmental impact of consumption. Some people hesitate to clean out a closet or garage because they don’t want it all to go to landfill. Take advantage of living in the San Francisco Bay Area which is filled with easy options for recycling/reuse and responsible disposal.

Stopwaste.org is a quick way to find what is available near you. There are many places that accept e-waste, expired medicines, CFLs, hazardous waste, styrofoam, packing peanuts and air-packs. Partially used art and office supplies can go to the East Bay Depot for Creative Reuse or S.C.R.A.P., building materials and hardware can go to Urban Ore or a Habitat for Humanity ReStore outlet. Plastic children’s toys, if not donate-able, can be recycled with hard plastic at most urban recycling centers. There are also resources for your unneeded medical equipment (wheelchairs, walkers, tubing, etc.)

Freecycle, Craigslist, Nextdoor, and other community neighborhood forums are great places to post usable items for free.  These places allow you to find people who want your cast-offs and will take care of the hauling!

If you don’t want to deal with the public, you can pay for a hauler to come. EcoHaul, 1-800-Got Junk, Lugg are companies that advertise responsible disposal of items the remove from your place.

There is no “right” approach. What is that key that will release you from the obligation to hold on to things you don’t need and really don’t even want? Not sure how to get rid of something? Just ask! As Professional Organizers, we’ve got ideas!

Leave a comment

Filed under Decluttering, organizing, Perspective, Reduce/Recyle/Reuse, Strategies

Making Room for the Clothes You Love

clothes-i-cant-get-rid-of-1

If you’re considering a closet makeover – the best first step is to purge your clothes so you know exactly what types of things, and how much of each category, you need to store. Good closet design is based on an accurate picture of what you’re keeping. Exactly how much hanging space will you need? Do you need shelves or drawers or both? How many accessories such as belts, ties, scarves, purses do you want to accommodate in there? Where will shoes go?

Can you imagine the lightness you would feel if you opened your closet and loved everything that was in there?

But I Paid A Lot of Money For It!

Purging clothes can be hard! As organizers, we often hear these reasons for holding onto certain items of clothing:

  • It reminds me of a fabulous event
  • It reminds me of a past self I don’t want to let go of
  • I know it’s coming back in style someday
  • It’s a little scratchy, but I think I can wear a camisole underneath it
  • If my husband/wife knew I had gotten rid of it s/he would feel bad
  • I wish I was still that size…

And the list goes on…

Does keeping this hold me back or move me forward?

There is one simple question to ask yourself as you consider a piece of clothing: “Does keeping this hold me back or move me forward?”

  • If it makes you feel bad about yourself, it’s holding you back
  • If it sparks feelings of guilt, shame, regret, or frustration – it’s holding you back
  • If you love it but don’t use it and keeping it crowds out room for clothes you actually wear – it’s holding you back
  • If it allows you to envision a positive future self, it moves you forward
  • If it makes you smile inside and feel great, it moves you forward

Hold onto what helps you lovingly accept yourself for who you are today.

Sometimes an item of clothing won’t spark joy, but it performs a valuable function. For example, don’t immediately get rid of the only pair of black pants you have (if you wear them a lot) until you get something that you love to replace them. If you’re having trouble sensing how a piece makes you feel, find an item clothing that definitely sparks joy and compare it to that.

Now that you’ve decided what you are keeping, reward your hard work with a closet design that makes the clothes you love to wear both visible and accessible.

2 Comments

Filed under Bedroom, Closets, Decluttering

Is Perfectionism Keeping You From Getting Your Literal House in Order?

Do you wish your books were perfectly organized?

Do you wish your books were perfectly organized?

We’ve asked our coaching colleague Wendy Edelstein of Changeover Coaching to share some tips.

Did you once aspire to have a home where there is no excess? You know, the kind that Marie Kondo describes in her best-selling book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up in which there’s a place for everything – that you love – and unwanted items have been relinquished?

Perhaps you had a vision of an orderly, tranquil home when you began your tidying up project but are now frustrated and stuck midstream. To make matters worse, piles of partially sorted stuff remind you of your impasse.

As a coach who helps people perform better and become more productive, clients seek me out to meet their goals. Perfectionism, however, can be a real obstacle to moving forward.

Here are some suggestions:

Manage your project. Home organizing is a big project that can be overwhelming. Break it into manageable chunks. Marie Kondo suggests starting by pruning your wardrobe and then addressing categories such as books, papers, and personal mementos. If spending your stay-cation on tidying up is not your thing, designate 2-3 hour time blocks in your calendar to get the job done.

Practice self-compassion. If you’re a perfectionist (and I suspect that if you hear the clarion cry of organizing and decluttering, you may be among our number), go easy on yourself. Perfectionists tend to have very active inner critics. Reward yourself for each part of the project you accomplish.

Keep your goal front and center. Post images from magazines in each room that evoke how you want the room to look. Add words that represent the values you are honoring with this project (order, beauty, calm, for example) and paste them onto the image for inspiration.

Do it your way. At the risk of being heretical, Kondo’s method – which is pretty extreme – may not be your thing. Whatever works for you is perfect.

Get support. A professional organizer – or a coach – can help you navigate your project. Often, we perfectionists think there’s valor in going it alone. Admitting you would benefit from support might be just what you need to get the job done.

Leave a comment

Filed under Decluttering, disorganization, General Organizing, home organizing, Perspective, Strategies, Time Management

5 Best Quotes From “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up”

magical tree (1)

Whether or not you’re using Marie Kondo’s “KonMari” method to get organized, here are some great quotes to challenge your perspective:

“All the things you own want to be of use to you.”

“Tidying ought to be the act of restoring balance between people, their possessions and the house they live in”.

“We should be choosing what we want to keep, not what we want to get rid of.”

“The place we live should be for the person we are becoming now – not for the person we have been in the past.”

“Keep only those things that speak to your heart. Then take the plunge and discard all the rest.”

And a bonus quote for those who like presents:

“The question of what you want to own is actually the question of how you want to live your life.”

From Marie Kondo’s bestselling book, The Magical Art of Tidying Up

Leave a comment

Filed under Decluttering, General Organizing, Perspective, Strategies