Tag Archives: Marie Kondo

Perspectives on Letting Go

freedom release letting go

Ahh, attachments to our stuff. It’s really all a mental game. If we were truly able to assess our belongings according to our practical needs, we would probably be living with 10% of what we own.

Why is letting go so hard? How do we manage the psychology of releasing things?

Over the years, we’ve seen people find success with one (or a combination) of these three approaches:

Focus on how you can help yourself

Honor the life you want to live. Have a vision of how you want to be in the world and edit your stuff so you can match that and live your best life now. This is about releasing the past and creating your ideal future. You’re honoring yourself by letting that be your focus.

Focus on how you can help other people

Recognize that your excess is a form of abundance. Release your objects so they can serve their purpose in other people’s lives. Release resentment or other negative emotions that the objects bring up in you and put them out into the world to do positive things for other people.

Feng Shui expert Karen Kingston tells a story of a divorced woman had a pair of large, expensive decorative urns from her divorce settlement. They were beautiful but made her think, with bitterness, of her ex-husband.  She was encouraged to sell them and get a lot of money for them instead of having them foster bitterness and resentment and a constant reminder of a painful relationship.

Focus on how you can help the environment

Bringing in less can aid the environment, but disposing of things in a thoughtful way will help offset the environmental impact of consumption. Some people hesitate to clean out a closet or garage because they don’t want it all to go to landfill. Take advantage of living in the San Francisco Bay Area which is filled with easy options for recycling/reuse and responsible disposal.

Stopwaste.org is a quick way to find what is available near you. There are many places that accept e-waste, expired medicines, CFLs, hazardous waste, styrofoam, packing peanuts and air-packs. Partially used art and office supplies can go to the East Bay Depot for Creative Reuse or S.C.R.A.P., building materials and hardware can go to Urban Ore or a Habitat for Humanity ReStore outlet. Plastic children’s toys, if not donate-able, can be recycled with hard plastic at most urban recycling centers. There are also resources for your unneeded medical equipment (wheelchairs, walkers, tubing, etc.)

Freecycle, Craigslist, Nextdoor, and other community neighborhood forums are great places to post usable items for free.  These places allow you to find people who want your cast-offs and will take care of the hauling!

If you don’t want to deal with the public, you can pay for a hauler to come. EcoHaul, 1-800-Got Junk, Lugg are companies that advertise responsible disposal of items the remove from your place.

There is no “right” approach. What is that key that will release you from the obligation to hold on to things you don’t need and really don’t even want? Not sure how to get rid of something? Just ask! As Professional Organizers, we’ve got ideas!

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Filed under Decluttering, organizing, Perspective, Reduce/Recyle/Reuse, Strategies

Making Room for the Clothes You Love

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If you’re considering a closet makeover – the best first step is to purge your clothes so you know exactly what types of things, and how much of each category, you need to store. Good closet design is based on an accurate picture of what you’re keeping. Exactly how much hanging space will you need? Do you need shelves or drawers or both? How many accessories such as belts, ties, scarves, purses do you want to accommodate in there? Where will shoes go?

Can you imagine the lightness you would feel if you opened your closet and loved everything that was in there?

But I Paid A Lot of Money For It!

Purging clothes can be hard! As organizers, we often hear these reasons for holding onto certain items of clothing:

  • It reminds me of a fabulous event
  • It reminds me of a past self I don’t want to let go of
  • I know it’s coming back in style someday
  • It’s a little scratchy, but I think I can wear a camisole underneath it
  • If my husband/wife knew I had gotten rid of it s/he would feel bad
  • I wish I was still that size…

And the list goes on…

Does keeping this hold me back or move me forward?

There is one simple question to ask yourself as you consider a piece of clothing: “Does keeping this hold me back or move me forward?”

  • If it makes you feel bad about yourself, it’s holding you back
  • If it sparks feelings of guilt, shame, regret, or frustration – it’s holding you back
  • If you love it but don’t use it and keeping it crowds out room for clothes you actually wear – it’s holding you back
  • If it allows you to envision a positive future self, it moves you forward
  • If it makes you smile inside and feel great, it moves you forward

Hold onto what helps you lovingly accept yourself for who you are today.

Sometimes an item of clothing won’t spark joy, but it performs a valuable function. For example, don’t immediately get rid of the only pair of black pants you have (if you wear them a lot) until you get something that you love to replace them. If you’re having trouble sensing how a piece makes you feel, find an item clothing that definitely sparks joy and compare it to that.

Now that you’ve decided what you are keeping, reward your hard work with a closet design that makes the clothes you love to wear both visible and accessible.

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Filed under Bedroom, Closets, Decluttering

Is Perfectionism Keeping You From Getting Your Literal House in Order?

Do you wish your books were perfectly organized?

Do you wish your books were perfectly organized?

We’ve asked our coaching colleague Wendy Edelstein of Changeover Coaching to share some tips.

Did you once aspire to have a home where there is no excess? You know, the kind that Marie Kondo describes in her best-selling book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up in which there’s a place for everything – that you love – and unwanted items have been relinquished?

Perhaps you had a vision of an orderly, tranquil home when you began your tidying up project but are now frustrated and stuck midstream. To make matters worse, piles of partially sorted stuff remind you of your impasse.

As a coach who helps people perform better and become more productive, clients seek me out to meet their goals. Perfectionism, however, can be a real obstacle to moving forward.

Here are some suggestions:

Manage your project. Home organizing is a big project that can be overwhelming. Break it into manageable chunks. Marie Kondo suggests starting by pruning your wardrobe and then addressing categories such as books, papers, and personal mementos. If spending your stay-cation on tidying up is not your thing, designate 2-3 hour time blocks in your calendar to get the job done.

Practice self-compassion. If you’re a perfectionist (and I suspect that if you hear the clarion cry of organizing and decluttering, you may be among our number), go easy on yourself. Perfectionists tend to have very active inner critics. Reward yourself for each part of the project you accomplish.

Keep your goal front and center. Post images from magazines in each room that evoke how you want the room to look. Add words that represent the values you are honoring with this project (order, beauty, calm, for example) and paste them onto the image for inspiration.

Do it your way. At the risk of being heretical, Kondo’s method – which is pretty extreme – may not be your thing. Whatever works for you is perfect.

Get support. A professional organizer – or a coach – can help you navigate your project. Often, we perfectionists think there’s valor in going it alone. Admitting you would benefit from support might be just what you need to get the job done.

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Filed under Decluttering, disorganization, General Organizing, home organizing, Perspective, Strategies, Time Management

5 Best Quotes From “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up”

magical tree (1)

Whether or not you’re using Marie Kondo’s “KonMari” method to get organized, here are some great quotes to challenge your perspective:

“All the things you own want to be of use to you.”

“Tidying ought to be the act of restoring balance between people, their possessions and the house they live in”.

“We should be choosing what we want to keep, not what we want to get rid of.”

“The place we live should be for the person we are becoming now – not for the person we have been in the past.”

“Keep only those things that speak to your heart. Then take the plunge and discard all the rest.”

And a bonus quote for those who like presents:

“The question of what you want to own is actually the question of how you want to live your life.”

From Marie Kondo’s bestselling book, The Magical Art of Tidying Up

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Organizing YOUR Way

There is no one cookie-cutter organizing solution that fits everyone

There isn’t a cookie-cutter organizing solution that fits everyone

In the face of the wild success of Marie Kondo’s The Magical Art of Tidying Up we’ve seen a fair number of backlash articles resisting or mocking a strict methodology for clearing clutter. While we agree with many of Kondo’s philosophies, we recognize that organizing methods and outcomes need to fit the person trying to be organized.

Before you throw out the baby with the bath water, step back and take stock of your own organizing style and values. Why do YOU want to be organized? What does organized look like TO YOU? One of the things we’ve learned through our decades of organizing is that clutter is subjective; one person’s idea of chaos is another’s idea of serenity.

So here it is – The Official Permissions List from professional organizers as a counter balance to the de-clutter doctrines from the media:

  • “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” In organizing terms, if you don’t experience some particular clutter as a pain point, then it isn’t really a problem for you. Move on to something that is a problem.
  • Take a break. Working at your own pace ensures you’ll last for the long haul. Is summer a time for you to be away on adventures? Go for it! Keep your tidying energy for packing a just-right suitcase.
  • Honor who you are and what’s important to you – not everybody wants to live in an IKEA showroom. What does your ideal home look like – and more importantly feel like?

For a quick laugh check out these 3 backlash articles:

Most importantly, we’d like people to understand Marie Kondo’s true aim: have your home support the life you want to be living.

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Filed under Decluttering, General Organizing, home organizing, organizing, Perspective, Strategies

Marie Kondo’s Organizing Inspires Lasting Changes

Marie Kondo's book on "The Japanese Art of Tidying Up" offers fresh strategies based on spiritual principles

Marie Kondo’s book on “The Japanese Art of Tidying Up” offers fresh strategies based on spiritual principles

There’s been a lot of press recently about Marie Kondo’s book, The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up. Considering the existing volume of self-help organizing books already out there we were curious why this book has captured people’s interest so powerfully.

The media is abuzz over it, our clients are talking about it, and after exploring it more thoroughly, we are inspired by it.

We live in a culture of consumption that really values volume. Coming from a totally different culture, Marie Kondo awakens us to a Japanese way of looking at our things. At the heart of her de-cluttering approach is the Shinto belief of animism – that objects have energy and a life force that should be acknowledged and honored.

The object of any de-cluttering method is getting rid of stuff. Kondo’s approach changes the focus of purging. Instead of analyzing objects for their functionality in our lives, she trains us to sense the energy within our possessions …and only keep those that inspire or create joy. Kondo’s technique is very spiritual and holistic – gets you out of your head and logic and into your heart and emotion. She’s asking what you want to carry forward with you in your lives.

The end result of the process is an uncluttered home and a clearer relationship with the things you own.

Key points:

  • Sort by category and order matters, start with clothes and end with memorabilia
  • Do it quickly
  • Find if the item sparks joy by holding it and sensing your body’s reaction
  • Give yourself a time limit for the entire purging process- 1 week, 3 months, 1 year…decide first how long you will take for this project
  • Do it now, don’t delay

Are you feeling inspired to try a new approach? Practice by holding an object and sense how it makes you feel. If it doesn’t spark joy, can you let it go? This exercise will get you in tune with the relationships you have with your stuff and move you towards a home you love.

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Filed under Bedroom, Closets, Decluttering, General Organizing, Kids, Kitchen, Laundry, Living Room, Memorabilia, Office, Paper, Perspective, Strategies